Visual

So, I'm mainly focusing on lyrics at the moment. Gathering and arranging thoughts. Building lines. Examining the underlying emotions.

As I do, I've set myself a challenge to try and think visually at the same time. To ask myself, what would a picture of these thoughts, lines or words look like?

I'm finding it bloody hard. I spend so much of my day in a logical, analytical headspace that trying to think in a purely aesthetic way almost hurts my brain. But it's worth it. Already, I'm finding that it's starting to expand my vocabulary - both literal and metaphorical.

Scared

I have a list of topics and themes. These are my shadows. I want to explore them on this album. But just lately I've been feeling a little scared. What if dwelling on the darkness for a year or more would drag me into it? Would it harm me? Is this a smart thing to do?

But this is me right now. This is what I need to write about. And I think I can immerse myself in darkness without getting lost in it. I think I can call out my shadows and cast a little light on them without being drawn into them. I think it could even be healthy, maybe healing.

Guess I'll find out.

Six

The desire to write has been growing over the last 6 months. Last time I created an album I vowed that I would never do it again; I would only work on individual tracks. The process of creating A Gorgeous Plan in 2013 was 30% elation and 70% hard work but the experience of releasing it was 100% soul destroying. Now, more than four years later, I think I've either grown or hardened enough to put myself through it again and attempt to create my sixth album.

Why? Because I can't bear not to. Because I have to grow as an artist. Because it won't go away. Because I have things I want to express. Because I want a body of work I can feel proud of. Because I know I have it in me. Because of the happiness I know will come from creating it. In spite of the heartbreak I fear will come from releasing it. Because this is me, and it always has been. Because exploring my demons through my art is healthier than entertaining them.

This isn't quite the beginning of the journey; I've been collecting my thoughts for a number of months. But now I have the time to begin in earnest. And I'm not certain I will finish, but I will have fun trying.

Six Steps

I'm at the beginning of a new journey. I feel that it's time to try creating my sixth album. I'll share more about that soon.

This time I want to document the journey. Mainly for me. Mainly as a way of verbalising my successes and failures. Mainly as a form of therapy: shouting joy or screaming frustration into the void.

And I want to share the journey using this blog. Not because I believe many will be interested in following, but because it's the kind of thing I would follow.

And I want to share because I think it'll help me to keep my focus on what's important: staying true to myself and true to my visions.

Writing just for me.

It might not be pretty.